When the mental permeates the physical

I think it is odd how our bodies and minds are so interconnected.

A blush is caused by a feeling of embarrassment. Nerves will make the hands sweat. I mean even thinking of a horrid smell can make people gag.

For me, I feel like they are very connected indeed.

If I cry I will end up getting a migraine. I think that is part of why I hated crying for so long. I despised the idea of allowing my emotional pain to become physical.

The problem is, that bottling up all of those emotions made my body struggle even more than crying would have. Earlier this year when I was dealing with the loss of someone I dearly loved I barely cried. Instead I began to get terrible stomach pains and lost all of my appetite. I ended up losing a lot of weight and had to go to the doctor and get several tests done.

Following the appointments and test results I have realized that my contempt for crying was rather stupid, because one of the main reasons was actually amplified if I did not give way to my emotions.

But even after learning that I need to be okay with the tears and the swollen eye balls, my emotions and my body are still extremely intertwined.

For example, last night all I did was think a single thought, and my hands and legs started shaking, I felt nauseous and dizzy. All as a result of something that found it's way back into my mind.

This feeling went on for about 2 hours.

And even though I forced my mind to abandon the thought, it persisted.

My stomach started to hurt again and all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and sob because I felt like there were no other options.

Problem was my parents were having thirty people over for dinner and I was enlisted to help.

Therefore I am trying to work my way through why God created us to be so fused.

And while it is rather silly to ponder why God does anything, because the answer will somehow come back to the fact that He loves us, I think I might have stumbled upon one of the probably numerous reasons.

When we are filled with the Joy of the Spirit we become like lanterns in the darkness. Something physical changes as a result of the emotional and spiritual shift. And so I think it must go both ways, for the bad and the good must always be served together.

So while I may now leave the dam open for my tears to flow through I still have no more control over the way my body responds to stressful thoughts and situations, however I am working on it.

Just like I am working on everything else in my life.