Breaking the Façade

A few weeks ago I went to a new church. It was not because I dislike my current one but merely because I needed something new, that and right now I need all of the Jesus time I can get. 

The sermon was on Psalm 6, a morose lamentation of sorrow. Something that I think most of us miss nowadays. 

And the pastor said something to me that stuck with me: That we all need to break our façades. Especially within the church.

This is a concept that I have been dealing with the last year, but it seemed to hit home last night in the conversation with a friend.

We were talking about taking risks in the people we let into our lives and our hearts, who we show the true us. 

And, Surprisingly after the last few weeks, I was on the side that left me vulnerable. 

To harm, but also vulnerable to joy and surprise. 

I was, and am, in favor of an "open book policy."

As we were talking the concept of such a policy ran amok in my mind, creating a spiralling metaphor.

We are all books in the making. This is not a notion difficult to grasp due to humanity's narrative nature.

Now the people who build up walls and shut others out are like unpublished manuscripts. Unwilling to expose more than brief glimpses at their brilliance. They are unpublished usually because they are afraid. Afraid that they will get bent and frayed. Afraid that they will not be received well.

The problem with these manuscripts however is that while they never give people the opportunity to hate the pages and the words scribbled upon them, they also never give people the chance to devour each and every word and thought exposed. 

Now for myself, I would rather be a library book. Willing to open to anyone interested enough to check me out. 

And, sure, while I might become tattered and worn, stained and smudged, are not the books we love the most falling to pieces?

In the end all we have is our story. 

We can only choose how we share it. 

And while the risk is far greater, so is the reward.

And this is coming from a book who recently had hot coffee spilled all over a chapter. 

It is not destroyed to the point where it needs to be torn out, and the rest of the story would probably not make sense without it, but it is a chapter that must be closed and left to dry for the time being, to allow the new pages to be written. 

So I am now more than ever, attempting to break the façade, one page at a time. Yes, weakening myself to all of the negativities, but also making room for new possibilities. In fact one of my good friendships was born on a night where my guard was completely gone.

So if you see me around (in the appropriate setting, because after all books are only checked out one at a time) ask me how I am doing, that is if you honestly care. 

Because I am going to do my best to give you an honest answer.