Only Physical

To be honest, I've been very discouraged lately.

It's just sometimes I hate being me.

I hate having to lump through all of these hoops that most people don't even know exist.

I can't do most things the way most people can. I have to be more careful, I have to be smarter, and I always have to ask myself what will happen if I do something.

I can't go to concerts, because the noise and the lights will undoubtably give me a migraine.

I can't stay up late, because if I have less than seven hours of sleep I will have a migraine.

I can't just go out for a cup of coffee or tea, because I am not allowed to have caffeine, because they aggravate migraines.

I can no longer really dance. And dancing is something that I love to do. It's just now I have to be careful about how many dances I have, because if I get dizzy it won't stop for days.

And sometimes I just want to run.

To just pick up my feet and take off, not daring to look back.

But do you know what would happen if I would do that?

After a few seconds I would get dizzy, then my vision would blur, then it would fade completely, and not long after, my consciousness would go as well.

There are so my limitations on my life, that sometimes I just feel so trapped by it all.

Like I am in a physical cage I cannot escape.

Luckily I know one day this body will hold me back no longer.

Because I know I am capable of so much more than this body, these muscles and bones restricted by the ailments of imperfection.

I will run "father up and further in" and dance until stopping suits me. 

I pray for that day to come.